Homey’s Adventures Too, Chapter 3 – Xena


First and foremost, thank you to all of you who have read my past blog posts and my book, “Homey’s Adventures.” 

As promised, I am continuing to publish for you my new book as a series on this blog. I have posted Chapter 3 on this blog twice before and it is my most popular blog post to date: 

Chapter 3 – Xena 

It is extremely hard to describe why you fall in love with someone. I want a wife with grace, character and loves making love. Homey thinks the sex is the most important thing. Jim thinks love and the love of Christ is the most important thing. I want both and to love someone with truth and grace. I believe true love is when you love someone without regard to your own needs and wants. Hollywood’s version of true love with a princess and a knight in shining amour is a bunch of hogwash. Hollywood and the media only want to sell sex and more sex and violence to make money. 

I am going to tell you about Xena, and you decide why I say I fell in love with her. I nicknamed her Xena because she is, 5-foot, 8 and a half inches tall of warrior princess wonder woman. That is a little tall for me, but I would rather she be too tall than too short. I found out after many years of trial and error that 5-foot 7-inches is the perfect height for Homey. A taller woman is taller than I am when she has heels on. Homey found that when making love to a smaller woman, some things are more awkward. Xena is athletic and she will probably be able to kick my ass, but her slim body is to die for. 

She looked like Gal Gadot of the 2017 Wonder Woman movie. She had glorious black hair down to the middle of her athletic back. Her eyes are a deep blue green with full rich lips, and she was prettier than Gal Gadot. 

Gal Gadot trained in martial arts in the Israeli army. My Xena boxes and wins boxing matches. Gal Gadot was also a model. 

I asked Xena: “Have you ever been a model? 

Her perfectly romantic response: “I only want to model for you darling.” 

Xena is a sexologist which is a family counselor for couples with intimacy problems. By the end of this chapter, you will see how sexy her mind is. Homey values a sexy mind more than anything else, but remember, loves making love is just one characteristic I seek. Homey is just part of my total nature. 

I asked Xena to meet me when I was in Kiev. She didn’t say no, but she didn’t say yes either. When I was robbed, she helped me get over it and get out of my hotel room. She has compassion and grace. It bothered me that she didn’t meet me, but she said she was sick. Also, meeting someone without setting up a website meeting was against the website rules. I respected this rule because it protects the safety of everyone involved. 

Xena has an 8-year-old girl child. I do not normally try to romantically love women with children because if it does not work out, you may hurt the child too. I think the last thing I wanted to do is hurt a child. 

Also, Jesus says a man will commit adultery If he has sex with a divorced woman unless the divorce was a result of adultery by the husband. I have read that another exception is when a man who is not a Christain divorces her. 

In the time of Jesus, men would marry women for their dowry and then divorce them and marry repeatedly. Jesus was condemning this practice. 

The one thing I liked is how the Hebrews divorced each other. A man could turn around 3 times and it was over. I would have saved more than half my wealth if that were true today. My wife was a selfish agnostic. She divorced me and took more than her half of my wealth and left me with paying the taxes. You can read my first book to find out how this came about. 

I asked Xena: “May I ask why you got a divorce?” 

She explained: “My husband wanted me to abort the baby. He told me he would leave me if I didn’t get an abortion.” 

 This is when the Jim part of me fell in love with her. Not only did she have the character to bring a beautiful life into the world, but she sacrificed her marriage to do it. From that point on, she became my hero Xena, Warrior Princess, and Wonder Woman. Her sacrifice not only showed courage but also character. 

Getting back to Xena’s sexy mind, after Kiev, she sent me a picture of her naked and sitting with a chess board between her legs and looking up with an octopus on her face. All her private parts are covered by either her hair or her hand. For some reason, this picture was extremely sexy. In response, Homey wrote the following new adventure: 

It is Halloween in America 10/31/19, and it’s celebrated differently here than anyplace else. There is a fascination in this country for scary movies and TV shows and haunted houses and ghost stories. You find out that I’m not one of the millions of Americans who love Halloween, but your daughter should celebrate Halloween just like any other normal American kid. 

So, for Halloween, she dresses up as a pirate and we take her around the neighborhood to knock on doors, say treat or treat, and get candy. 

When we get home, I make us both a drink and then start a fire in the fireplace. You take Marie upstairs and put her to bed. You come downstairs and take all your clothes off and sit in front of the chess set and put part of your daughter’s costume on your face, a rubber squid. I love when you act sexy and goofy. I come back from the kitchen and see you and burst out laughing. Homey instantly gets hard. 

I come over to you and you notice there is a growing bulge in my pants. 

  I commanded: “Hey squid, let go of my woman.” 

 I’m standing and you get on your knees, unzip my pants, and pull out my hard homey. You start sucking it and I caress your back as you do. Your squid falls off your face. I start to moan with delight. How could I ever I find such a wonderful woman! 

I know that you are going to want me to please you in return, so, I hold back from a full cum. I lead you over to a furry rug by the fireplace and kiss you passionately on the lips. I taste my pre-cum on your mouth. I take all my clothes off. 

I lie beside you to kiss the nape of your neck and my fingers find your beautiful flower. I start to massage your flower while I kiss and suck your breasts getting you ready for my hard cock (homey). We both feel the romantic warmth of the fire and the furry rug. 

I roll on top of you and slowly insert homey inside your now wet flower and I hold you tight like I always do when I want to cum inside you. I tell you how wonderful and beautiful you are and how you have fulfilled my life with joy. I hold you tight as I lovingly pump you. You feel my cock swell inside you and explode with cum. 

We lay back and we hold each other by the fire and enjoy the rest of night there. This becomes my best Halloween ever and I don’t like Halloween😍. 

The end. 

I hope you like this my Xena. Your picture is the sexiest picture that I have ever seen 

Please let me know what you think. Do you celebrate Halloween in Ukraine? How are you today? 

With love, 


Shortly after I sent this adventure, she wrote me a letter on the website. She wrote: 

Love is pure, love is painful, love is sweet, and love is dreadful. True love is overwhelming. Our lives depend on it, and it often seems like our planet would stop spinning if love didn’t exist. Endless love is something we strive for and something we mourn the loss of. What is love for you!? 

This was my answer: 

We are all sinners gorgeous. I’m the first to admit that. Jesus paid the ultimate price to erase our sins and I thank him every day for his sacrifice. Love is the most important quality I look for in a woman, although I think all three qualities that I’m looking for are important and interconnected. 

I think Hollywood has done the subject of love great harm. I believe God is love. I believe that we should love God with our heart, soul, and mind. I also believe that we should follow what Jesus says is the second most important commandment and love our neighbor. And he defines our neighbor as anyone who crosses our path as illustrated in the parable of the Good Samaritan. Loving is not easy and not always convenient. The Good Samaritan helped the injured Israelite to a nearby inn and paid the innkeeper to take care of the injured man.

I don’t think there is our one true love that Hollywood has made into a product for sale. I believe this has hurt so many young minds and hearts. The apostle Paul says that a man should love and cherish his wife and a wife should love and respect her husband and with God’s blessing, and that is all that is needed. I was married for 34 years, and I now believe Paul was correct. 

When you read my book, you will read that the last 18 years of my marriage was dysfunctional and without true love. That is why in the future, I am determined that love will shape every aspect of my life and that will include loving sex with my wife of about anything we can think of 😊. 

So, my gorgeous woman, these are my thoughts on love. Please let me know what you think. 

With love, 

Jim and Homey 

Xena loved to write letters. As of the time of drafting this book, we had 202 letters on the website. Sometimes I would respond by website chat and sometimes by email and sometimes by website letter. 

She sent me a very sexy picture of her bent over a white couch with nothing on but thong underwear. This picture inspired Homey to write the following: 

You and your daughter got your visas and came to visit me in St. Louis. When you get here, you notice that there is no furniture in the family room. I tell you that I have been waiting on my next wife to help me redecorate. When my ex-wife moved out, she took more than half of the furniture with her. So, the next day after you get here, we go down and buy some furniture for the family room. We then take your daughter to the zoo (see picture). 

St. Louis has one of the best zoos in the USA and I love sharing it with my new family. The next day the furniture arrives. We get it all arranged and then we go downtown and visit the most famous landmark in St. Louis, the Arch. This impressive structure was built in the 1960’s to commemorate the Louisiana purchase. The real name of the arch is the Jefferson Memorial Gateway Arch. The third president of the USA, Thomas Jefferson, directed the purchased of a large part of the USA from the French in 1803. This Louisiana Purchase is a vast land that includes Missouri, and most of 11 other states west of the Mississippi river. The arch is 192 meters (about twice the height of the Statue of Liberty) tall and has a tram system of egg-shaped cars inside it. We take your daughter up to the top and see the wonderful view of St. Louis. 

We have an early dinner at a sidewalk cafe at nearby Laclede’s Landing which is a night club area at night. After dinner we go home and relax in our new family room. You put Lisa to bed upstairs and I get us some white wine and cheese and crackers so that we can be intimate and enjoy our new family room. 

You come back downstairs with only a white top and thong underwear on, and you take my breath away. You bend over our new white couch and show me one of God’s most beautiful sights, your rear end. 

You say: “I think we should christen the new furniture with our love making. Don’t you?” 

I say: “Darling please have some wine and cheese and I will be right back.” 

I go into the downstairs bathroom and apply one of my shots so that I can give you as much pleasure tonight as possible. 

When I come back out you are still bent over our new couch. I take it that you want to christen the couch doggie style. I come over to you and place my hard homey on your wonderful butt and lean over and kiss your neck. I also reach around and start massaging your clit. You moan with delight and start to get wet. As I continue to massage your clit, I reach under your white top, caress your breasts, and pinch your nipples. I put one of my fingers inside your now wet flower and continue my erotic massage. You moan some more. I drop your thong underwear down to the floor and then slowly insert my now fully extended hard homey. I ask you to caress my balls so that Homey will swell inside you 

After a couple of strokes into your beautiful flower, you say: “Harder, faster!” 

 I grab your wonderful slim waist and do as you ask. I also continue to massage your clit with one of my hands. 

You feel Homey swell inside you, and you say: “Cum inside me darling.” 

 I don’t need much coercion to do as you ask. I make one deep thrust and cum inside you. 

We fall and the couch together and passionately kiss. You see that Homey is still hard as a rock for you. 

You say: “I love it dear. You still want me?” 

I say: “Let’s catch our breath, have some more wine and do something else dear. I am all yours tonight😍.”” 

The end 

As you can see darling this is only for you and created inspired by your wonderful picture and my hope and prayer that you and your daughter and I will become a loving family here in St. Louis. 

I hope you like it. 

With love, 


If you, my reader, noticed that in this adventure, I went to the bathroom to apply a shot. This is part of the wonders of medical science developed here in St. Louis. The shots are applied to the penis and safer than the blue pill because the side effects are less. Pills take longer to work and cause dizziness and headaches and a flush face. The shot lasts up to 4 hours and has no side effects. It also can be adjusted to an individual preference of degree of hardness and how long it was hard. 

Her response to this adventure was very encouraging: 

 I want to be with you! You must believe me! I really miss you. Do you understand you are important to me, and I will do everything that we were together? I kiss you and love you! 

Xena did not write me many emails because she only had a computer at work. I later promised not to send any lude pictures by email. I worked once and even though she is a sexologist, I can appreciate that she may on occasion be embarrassed. 

Xena sent me a video of her dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood walking through the forest. I almost at once thought of the 1970’s song by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. I wrote an adventure to go along with her video: 

I will start this adventure with a song by Sham the sham And the Pharaohs. Here the lyrics: 


 Who’s that I see walkin’ in these woods? 

 Why, it’s Little Red Riding Hood. 

 Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, 

 You sure are looking good. 

 You’re everything a big bad wolf could want. 

 Listen to me. 

Little Red Riding Hood 

 I don’t think little big girls should 

 Go walking in these spooky old woods alone. 


What big eyes you have, 

 The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad. 

 So just to see that you don’t get chased 

 I think I ought to walk with you for a ways. 

What full lips you have. 

 They’re sure to lure someone bad. 

 So, until you get to grandma’s place 

 I think you ought to walk with me and be safe. 

I’m gonna keep my sheep suit on 

 Until I’m sure that you’ve been shown 

 That I can be trusted walking with you alone. 


Little Red Riding Hood 

 I’d like to hold you if I could 

 But you might think I’m a big bad wolf, so I won’t. 


What a big heart I have-the better to love you with. 

 Little Red Riding Hood 

 Even bad wolves can be good. 

 I’ll try to be satisfied just to walk close by your side. 

 Maybe you’ll see things my way before we get to grandma’s place. 

Little Red Riding Hood 

 You sure are looking good 

 You’re everything that a big bad wolf could want. 

 Owoo! I mean baa! Baa? 

Sets the mood. Yes darling? I walk up to you with a blanket on my arm. 

I kiss you on the forehead. 

I whisper in your ear: “I am a good wolf darling.” 

 I then kiss you in the nape of your neck. You look at me with those devastating eyes and take a deep breath. 

I lay the blanket under a nearby tree. I ask you to sit with me. 

You say: “I don’t sit with big bad wolves and smile”. 

I come back to you and kiss you again on the forehead. I then go in for the kill. I draw you to me and kiss you long and hard and passionately on the lips. You kiss me back and dig your nails into my back. 

I whisper in your ear again: “I am in love with you. “ 

You smile and whisper into my ear: “Me too darling.” 

I kiss the nape of your long, gorgeous neck again and wrap my hands around your incredible rear end. I discover you are not wearing any panties. My inner Homey dances with delight. Homey starts getting hard. I squeeze your rear cheeks and kiss the top of your beautiful breasts. You feel Homey getting hard. You unzip my khakis and homey pops out. 

You then lead me over to the blanket and drop down on your knees and start to kiss and suck Homey. I groan with pleasure and rub your back. I then move my hands down and unzip you dress and then unzip your bustier. I lift you up and kiss you passionately again. I then kiss and suck your wonderful breasts. At the same time, I move my hand under you short shirt and start massaging your clit. I continue kissing your lips, your neck, and your breasts as you start to get wet, and my fingers enter your flower. You moan with pleasure. 

I decide to take it to the next level and I back you up against the tree. I put the blanket around the tree so that the bark does not hurt your back and lift one of your legs. I insert homey into your flower slowly. You put your arms around me and dig your fingers nails into my back. In response, I increase the force and thrust into your flower. 

You say: “Harder! Harder!” 

I groan and yell out: “I love you so much!” 

I thrust deeper, harder, and faster into your flower. With one big thrust, Homey explodes inside you. We drop the blanket and we both collapse in it breathing heavily. I put my head on your breasts and cover you with part of the blanket for warmth. We both fall into “an after wonderful sex” short nap. I wake up about 15 minutes later. You have moved with your backside towards me. Homey is always hard for you after I wake up. 

I put my arms around you, and I whisper in your ear: “Your good wolf is not done my darling”. 

You feel my hard Homey on your beautiful rear end. 

You smile and say: “Oh My! What a big hard Homey you have grandma.” 

I chuckle and start massaging your clit again and pinching your wonderful big nipples. When I feel you are wet again, I raise your right leg, straddle your left leg, and insert Homey into the place where he wants to live forever. We make romantic love and fall back asleep. We wake up with the blanket wrap around us looking at the stars and in love. 

The end. 

I hope you like this darling. I suggest you listen to the Sam the Sham song. I hope it will complete these romantic thoughts of mine. 

With love, 


Her response: 

Ha Ha Ha honey! it’s romantic and funny at the same time! 

I did not think that you would be in the role of a red cap, but this is interesting! 

Now I will call you Gray Wolf. 

I love you baby! I really liked it 

I have you very cheerful and I want to be with you! Do you mean this you make me happy? 

I never asked what red cap meant, but the Russian translator on the website sometimes failed. The important thing was that I was now her grey wolf and she liked role playing with a wonderful sexy mind! 

Sometimes, I would write adventures in response to one of her letters. She wrote: 


let’s go on a picnic together. 

Only you and me, my beloved. ♥️ We would take a lot of tasty food and wine. We would talk, laughing and pleased weekends together. It would be excellent if there was river or lake where we would be able to swim together. When we would get out of the water you would wrap me in a towel. 

I want it so badly and you? 

With love, 


My Answer: 

About a 90-minute drive from our home in Eureka is a small town called Hermann, Missouri. Hermann is in the heart of Missouri’s wine country. It is also right on the Missouri river. This is a large river that stretches from the Rocky Mountains to the Mississippi river in St. Louis. It is also the longest river in the USA and even longer than the Mississippi. It is also probably the most important river in the westward expansion of the USA. After the government purchased the land from the French in the Louisiana purchase, the Missouri river played a vital role in winning the contest against the British in the occupation of Oregon and Washington state. 

After I hear about your desire to go to a place like this, I think of beautiful quaint town of Hermann. So, we find a sitter for your daughter and drive to Hermann. It is a beautiful drive of rolling hills and forested landscape. 

In the center of this small town is a winery. We go in and buy a couple of bottles of the wine and some cheese and grapes. We walk to the nearby vineyard and find a table to enjoy our selection. After drinking our wine, and eating cheese, and fruit, we get up and hold hands and walk along the river. We find a secluded spot with a small waterfall, and we share a sweet kiss. We talk about our past, present, and future. I tell you how much I enjoy bringing joy to you and your sweet daughter. You tell me how wonderful your new home and your new country is and how you love and respect who I am. 

We see some kids jumping off a nearby dock. Before I know it, you are taking off your clothes and, on the dock, ready to jump in with only your underwear on. You do a front flip into the river. I reach down and help you back onto the dock. I pull you towards me and give you the most passionate kiss that I have ever given to a woman. You are my wonderful Xena, Warrior Princess and Wonder Woman. I wipe you dry with my own clothes. I could not wait to find a towel to kiss the most beautiful woman in the world. 

You put your clothes back on and we find a room at the Inn of The Hermannhof Winery. We sit by the fireplace in the room and talk and kiss some more. You strip completely and then start taking off my clothes. We make wonderful, sweet romantic love in the beautiful 4 post bed. 

What a wonderful day with the woman of my dreams. 

The End 

I hope you like this darling. Homey wrote it just for you. I have attached pictures to help you imagine how wonderful it will be. 

With love, 


Xena loved jumping into icy water during the winter. In fact, she loved the water and that is one of the things we shared together. She sent me a video of her jumping into a lake doing a full front flip before she landed. This is where I got the idea of her jumping off the dock in Hermann. She was a beautiful athletic woman. 

Her response to this adventure: 

Hello, dear 

Thanks for your amazing adventure! 

I’m writing you because I missed you. How to stop thinking about you?) Do you feel the same? 

I’m dreaming about our happy future together. How would be cool to spend all days together cuddling, smiling, and talking… true happiness in simple things, right? I’d like to visit dance classes with you) Samba, Rumba, Tango, Cha-cha-cha sounds good, what do you think about it? We would dance on our romantic evenings… everywhere we would show our passion in dance. 

Honey, what do you think about it? Write me a letter please. 

I added photos for you) 

With love 


During May 2019, we chatted and sent love letters back and forth. Jim and Homey were in love. She promised that she would let me come to her three separate times, but she never gave me a date to come. I had just spent a year and a half talking on and off with the Doctor Doctor who did the same thing. I was getting concerned with what I saw as her lack of character. For some stupid reason, I forgot she had character in spades when she gave birth to her daughter even though she lost her husband. There was another underlying reason she would not give me a date. Can You guess what it is? I should have dug deeper, but I was distracted. 

I was casually talking with a woman that I nicknamed Sexy Cutie. I told her that I had committed to another woman and her response was to invite me to Odessa, Ukraine to meet her. I asked her when and she said anytime. I told her about my problems with Xena. She eventually advised me that Xena would never meet me. Like Xena, Sexy Cutie gave me comfort and grace during my disastrous trip to Kiev. She even asked me to come to her on the last day of that trip. When I saw her invitation, I was already on the airplane home. 

She also said that she might go with me to Greece after we met. My number one destination before I die is to go to Greece. I love history and Greece is the birthplace of Western civilization. So, I trusted sexy cutie. I decided to accept her invitation to come to her even though I really did not want to go to Ukraine again. Also, she lived in a city on the Baltic Sea. Even if she did not go to Greece with me, I would see something that I had never seen before. 

I could not go without telling Xena. So, I wrote her this letter: 

Dear Xena, 

I can now tell you why I am sad. My falling in love online seems to be a jinx. I have even said in my book that it makes no sense to fall in love with a website profile, but Homey is not always logical 

You said that you did not want me if I could not trust you. I have listed all your broken promises in one of my recent chats. Jim wants a woman who does what she says and says what she is going to do. For me that defines character along with honesty. 

I cannot fulfill my promise if you will not keep your promises. I am sad for all of us, you, me and your daughter and it breaks my heart to admit this failure. I realize you may not see it the way I do. I do not have an answer to that 

I hope you had a very good birthday. I tried my best to make it good for you. 

With love, 


She had a strange response to this. She kept sending me letters as if she did not read this, Six letters in all. I even told her that I was going to Odessa to meet someone else. She sent me six letters that ignored the fact that I was moving on and going to Odessa. Something was going on in her mind that I could not figure out. Can you, my reader, guess what it was? I will tell you later in the book. First, I will tell you about my trip to Odessa. 

End of Chapter 3 

I hope you enjoyed chapter 3. I will give you Chapter 4 – Odessa next week. My new book has 32 chapters. So, if you want to receive all 32 chapters automatically, then become a follower of this blog. 

If you do not want to wait that long and you have not read my first book. I encourage you to go to my website, www.homeysadventures.com. You can read the first two chapters for free, and you can also purchase it. Or you can purchase it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other fine retailers. Just search for it using the words: Homey’s Adventures by Jim Wish. 

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I write for your enjoyment and mine. God bless you all. 

Published by jimwish.com

Jim Wish is a pen name of a romance novelist. He wrote Homey's Adventure which was published in January of 2020.

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