First and foremost, thank you to all who have read my past blog posts and my book, “Homey’s Adventures.”
As promised, I am continuing the series of all the chapters of my new book, “Homey’s Adventures Too.” I am now 71 and I decided that I did not want to spend my time haggling with editors, literary agents, and publishers. The main thing I am interested in is to write for your pleasure and mine. So, without further delay, here is Chapter 18:
Chapter 18 – Sad Ending
This would not be a Homey Adventure without two endings. I wrote two endings to my first book because I wanted to be honest with my reader. I am writing two endings to this book because I want to please my reader. I create these books for my reader. My reader is why I write. You can decide what ending you like.
When I told my best friend Sherlock that I was writing two endings for every book, he supported me: “Okay that can be your thing.”
I added: “In my new book, I give you the credit for coming up with the idea of writing a sequel to the sad ending and the happy ending.”
“Okay, why don’t you call me Watson in the book.”
I thought about that. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who was the author of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries portrayed himself as Watson. So, I decided to nickname my best friend Sherlock because I am the writer.
My sister is an avid reader and has an undergraduate degree in English. I believe in many ways she is a better person than I am. She has helped me with my books in the past. According to her, I am not a fiction writer. She gave me an example of someone who created a character out of a house.
Most of my characters are based on real people and most of my events are based on real events. However, my response to my sister: Mark Twain wrote short stories and books using events and characters based on what he encountered in life and so did John Steinbeck and Ernest Hemingway. I have not heard anyone say their works are not fiction. I do not use any real names. In fact, I am not really Jim Wish. Most importantly, everything I write about is from my perspective. That makes my books more fiction than a personified house.
I am not a victim, but if you are the type of person that wants to feel sorry for me, then this is the ending for you. I am out of money and out of time. Covid 19 has blocked everything I wanted to do. I doubt if I can find a job doing what I did before I retired. I am still struggling with the promotion of my books. So, my fantasies of traveling and romance are only fantasies.
Most importantly, I cannot go to my Xena and my Xena cannot come to me. I told her she was my last hope to succeed in my quest to find a beautiful Ukrainian wife. I also told her that after searching for 3 years, I have found my perfect woman, my Xena, my Tigran, my warrior princess, and my wonder woman. She told me that Tigran means tigress in Ukrainian. She gets turned on when I call her Tigran.
To be honest, I am weary of the endless barrage of fake emails and messages that I receive every day. I opened the flood gates of emails 3 years ago when I joined a couple of adult websites at the end of my marriage. Out of Covid 19 boredom, I decided to test the voracity of one of the websites who promised: If you want to get laid tonight, click here.
This casual website only charges if you sent messages to any of the women. I read the fine print of the website agreement and it did say that I needed to acknowledge that sometimes they employ computer generated messages. I entered only my birth date and Homey as my name. I did not provide anything about myself or what I was looking for. I received about 30 messages a day.
Most of the messages said something like: “I’m so horny, please come over and fuck me.” Half the time, the women had naked pictures in their profile or included it with their message. There were old woman, young women, and middle age woman. Some of the messages even said that they always wanted to fuck a 70 old man. Some said they had an open relationship already. Some said they were tired of their current man. Some said they have not been fucked in ages and were very horny. Some said they wanted romance.
I responded to a few of the woman just to see what would happen. I provided my email address and sometimes my phone number. No woman wanted to talk for free outside the website. Their excuse was that it was safer on the website. When I pointed out that they could easily set up an email address just for talking to me and that would be just as safe, they still declined to email me.
The website had a button that you could push to indicate that you thought this person was a match. They also had a button that you could push to indicate the woman as your favorite. I discovered that after I pushed these buttons, the favorite woman stopped sending me messages and did not respond. In fact, I never received a message from any woman I indicated as a match and my favorite.
When I first started online dating, I remember a website that had only automated responses. I corresponded for a whole month, and I never got more than one message from any woman. This casual website was set up differently. You could join for free, and it only cost you to respond to the messages. The messages were highly personalized, and they sent naked pictures to an old man who they knew nothing about. The women talked to me but would not talk outside of the website under any circumstance. So, my best guess is that somehow the women were getting paid like for a porn call center. How depressing!
I often got unsolicited emails from Russians and Ukrainians. The Ukrainian website had trouble with ex-employees stealing the contact information and even pictures of the members and clientele. Usually, the con artists get to the point and ask for money right away. I came across one that took her time.
After I told her that I was waiting for Xena, she seduced me slowly and methodically. She first sent a picture of the upper half of her body with her long black hair covering the private parts. She asked if I wanted to move her hair. She then went in for the kill and sent me a couple of pictures of ample breasts from above and below. I nicknamed her Sexy Beautiful and like Sexy Cutie, she was from Odessa.
She then tried to convince me that Xena was a fake and she was the real thing.
I retorted: “I have been talking with Xena for over a year and I have seen pictures of gifts and notes that I sent her on the website. I have offered to send money to Xena, and she has refused to take it because it is against the website rules. If you send me a picture of you with a paper sign saying: “I love Homey.,” then I will believe you are real too.”
“If I send you this picture, then will you trust me?”
She sent me the picture that I asked for. I now knew that sexy beautiful was real.
She then begged: “I am a waiter and I have been out of work for weeks. Can you send me some money to get by on?”
“I’m sorry sexy beautiful, I don’t send money to women I have never met.”
I always hated not giving to someone in need and I felt bad about refusing her request, but that is not the whole story. Can you, my reader, guess what happens next?
Two weeks later, I received another unsolicited email. There was something familiar about it:
Hi. My name is Tanya, and we don’t know each other. I’m a pretty, young girl. And I am now looking for a man who would be interested to make his life much much better. This is not a mailing list; I am writing to you personally and you will answer this letter and you will understand that I am real and that this is my personal mail. I will also send you a photo in the next letter if you wonder why I wrote to you.
Best regards, Tanya.
So, I answered it: “Okay, I am curious.”
“I knew that you would be interested in my letter and was really looking forward to an answer. I didn’t even get up because of my computer, because for some reason it seemed to me that you would answer me right away.)))
I’m just wondering: have you ever used the sites where you tried to meet girls? Did you manage to meet at least one? Or are you still alone impossible are you still interested in connecting your life with some beautiful young girl who would give you love, care, affection?))”
I replied:” I do not want to be mean dear, but usually these unsolicited emails result in the woman asking me for money. So, please tell me where you are from and why are you interested in me? You also promised a picture.”
I received an email with Sexy Beautiful’s picture attached and the following:
I wanted to ask you not to judge me by all the other women with whom you had to communicate. I am trading bitcoin.
This is a very popular cryptocurrency, for which I earn quite good money and I have enough of this money to live. Therefore, I see no reason for you and me to communicate about the fact that perhaps I would ask you for money, because I just don’t need it. Honestly, the only thing I miss in my life is the company of a man with whom I could enjoy life. Have you already found someone for yourself?
I was surprised and responded:
Why are you acting like we have never talked? Or is this someone else who has hijacked your pictures?
I then sent another email:
Last time I talked to you; you were a starving out of work waiter. Now, you are a successful bitcoin operator? Isn’t that interesting?
Of course, I was thinking: Busted. If it was her, I wonder how much money she makes from seducing guys online? It must be a lot. She cannot even remember her prior targets.
I did not get a response from my emails that I sent to Sexy Beautiful.
In addition of thinking of Xena every day. I think of my daughter every day. Sometimes I listened to a sweet ballad entitled, “Always on My Mind” written by Willie Nelson. Here are the lyrics:
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I’m sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
And maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
My biggest regret in life is not spending more time with my daughter.
Sherlock told me that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. He said this about his gambling and not my pursuit of a young Ukrainian wife. Nevertheless, it seems to apply to my situation too.
Maybe, my ship left the dock a long time ago. I don’t know, but I do believe God knows and he knows what is best for me.
End of Chapter 18
I hope you enjoyed chapter 18. Next week, I will give you “Alternative Chapter 18 – Las Vegas Again” My new book has 32 chapters. So, if you want to receive all 32 chapters as soon as the post is created, then become a follower of this blog.
If you do not want to wait that long and you have not read my first book. I encourage you to go to my website, www.homeysadventures.com. You can read the first two chapters for free, and you can also purchase it. Or you can purchase it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other fine retailers. Just search for it using the words: Homey’s Adventures by Jim Wish.
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I liken myself to the Vienna Violinist described in chapter 5. I play (write) for your enjoyment and mine. God bless you all.