First and foremost, thank you to all who have read my past blog posts and my book, “Homey’s Adventures.”
As promised, I am continuing the series of all the chapters of my new book, “Homey’s Adventures Too.” I am now 71 and I decided that I did not want to spend my time haggling with editors, literary agents, and publishers. The main thing I am interested in is to write for your pleasure and mine. So, without further delay, here is Chapter 8:
Chapter 8- The Courtship of Marie’s Mother
I thought of writing this chapter to mimic a movie named “The Courtship of Eddies Father” starring Glenn Ford and Ron Howard. Ron Howard was one of the best child actors of all time. In my opinion, he was second to only Shirley Temple, Mickey Rooney, and Judy Garland. The story is about how Ron Howard persuades his dad, Glenn Ford, not to marry a woman who has squinty eyes. Little Ron Howard liked the next-door neighbor. The next-door neighbor was the babysitter for Ron when his widower dad was out on a date.
I understood from the beginning that Marie was one of the keys to my relationship to Xena. I wrote a letter to my Xena to explain this:
My Gorgeous Xena,
For some reason, my thoughts turned to Marie tonight. Your gift to the world (maybe your greatest gift?) was when you had Marie even though you lost your husband because of her. Before I met my ex-wife, she chose to abort her first baby. I have fallen in love with you because of your courage and character.
You may ask why is Marie so important to me? I want to give her what I did not give my daughter. I want her to grow up knowing that men need to be loved and respected and that men should love and cherish their wives and children.
My ex-wife grew up not respecting her father and she passed that terrible sin on to my daughter. I loved her father (my ex-father-in-law). He was a good and decent man. His wife gave him 7 children and he was always too busy to stay home and help raise those children. My ex-mother-in-law may have been a witch and I mean that literally. She cackled like a witch when she laughed, and she taught her children to gossip and belittle people outside the family. I don’t remember ever hearing her father gossip about anyone.
I tried to teach my daughter love and compassion. I took her to church even though my ex-wife would not go with us. I did not spend enough time with my daughter because I was too busy supplying everything my ex-wife and daughter needed and most of what they wanted. I made the mistake of letting my ex-wife teach her in everything else. This resulted in her being taught to not respect men and specifically me.
I pray that God and you will allow me to love and cherish you and Marie so that Marie will love and respect her future husband. I also would like you to give me a son so that my family name can continue.
You are my perfect Xena. I do want your love and respect.
So, not only did I fall in love with Xena because of all her wonderful qualities. I also had a passion to love and help a little 8-year-old girl who was a third of the world away from me.
My courtship of Xena didn’t always go that well. After the first contest that I described in Chapter 6, Xena decided to enter another website contest.
“All you need to do is spend $10,000 on votes for me and the website will give me a trip to come and see you.”
At this point in time, I didn’t have $10,000 to spend on a contest: “Why don’t you just spend $2,000 on a trip to see me and I will reimburse you.”
“I have already entered the contest and if you don’t spend the money than I will get someone else to do it.”
At the time, I was focusing on getting my first book published and I didn’t see any way that I could do what she asked. I did want to use a picture that she gave me as a cover of my first book. I thought that the shadow figure of a naked woman on a pole fit perfectly with the theme of my first book.
At first, she gave me permission to use her picture. Since I refused to help her with her contest, she revoked her permission.
She retorted: “I don’t want you writing about me or Marie either.”
“You can’t stop me from writing about a character based on you. In fact, I don’t think you can stop me from using your picture. You already gave me written permission. I don’t plan to use it without your permission.”
A day later, she came back to me: “I have a lawyer friend in the USA, and he says you can’t use my picture and we will sue you if you do.”
“I already told you that I wouldn’t use it without your permission. I don’t like you threatening me.”
“Then why did you even suggest you could use it?”
“I don’t know. I was offended by you telling me what I could write and couldn’t write. The USA is a free country, and we don’t take kindly to threats of censorship.”
At this point, we didn’t correspond for a while, and I decided to exit from the website.
Like most lovers’ quarrels, we both soon forgot about our disagreement, and I found a similar picture to her picture on Getty images for my book. I used that picture for the cover of my first book. So, my Xena was indirectly a part of my first book even though I didn’t know her when I was writing it.
Eventually, I did reactivate my website profile to obtain tax information to complete my taxes. I set up a new profile so that I wouldn’t have to respond to old friends, and I could talk to Xena only. I thought Xena was an incredible woman and to be honest, to this day, I cannot bear the thought of disappointing Marie.
Xena and I started talking about where we might go for our honeymoon, and I thought of getting married in Las Vegas and going to Mexico for our honeymoon. I also had to consider how Marie might fit into our plans. I wrote the following Homey Adventure:
We get married in Las Vegas. It’s November, so, it starts getting a little cold unless we go south to Mexico for our honeymoon. You put on one of your favorite bikinis to show me how you will look on a Mexican beach. We have made love many times since the wedding, but I can no longer resist you for even a second. I come over and kiss you passionately and back you onto the bed and make passionate missionary love to you.
The next day we rent a car and head out to Los Angeles on our way to Mexico. The trip to Los Angeles takes about 5 hours. About halfway there, we are in Baker, CA which has the world’s largest thermometer (see picture). This is not that exciting, but Marie likes it. Just north of Baker is Death Valley National Park (see picture).
We take a small detour to see one of the most desolated places on earth. The annual rainfall in Death Valley is less than 5 CM per year and it is one of the hottest places on earth during the summer. In its own way, Death Valley is very beautiful with its bright oranges, and light greens against barren rock. Like the Grand Canyon, we are in awe of the majesty of God’s beauty.
We travel on to Loss Angeles where we find a motel near Disneyland. We get up the next day and take Marie to the theme park (see pictures). Marie is at a perfect age to enjoy Disneyland. She is at that in between age where she can still enjoy hugging Mickey and Minnie and enjoy the park’s mystical setting. She is also old enough to enjoy all the rides.
The next day, we go to Universal Studios to show you how movies are made (see pictures). We see the Waterworld show where stunt men show us how actions scenes are filmed. Each part of this theme park has another behind the scenes glimpse of how movies are made.
I investigate driving to Mexico, but I find out that taking a rental car into Mexico is not practical. So, we get plane tickets and fly from Los Angeles to Mazatlan, Mexico. I suggest we go to Mazatlan because it is less commercialized than Cabo San Lucas and Puerto Vallarta. Also, Mazatlan is in the middle of the Mexican Rivera. Mexico is fun and colorful (see pictures).
We stay at a hotel right on the beach. After Marie has gone to bed, I ask you if we can take a romantic walk on the beach just before sundown.
You put on that wonderful bathing suit and say: ” I am ready darling”.
We walk and talk about the future of our family and how wonderful it will be. We find a secluded spot near the rocks, and I lay a beach towel down and we make wonderful love to cap the end of a wonderful day.
Xena’s responded: “I think this would be a wonderful honeymoon and I want to go to Disneyland as much as Marie does.”
I often responded to Xena’s letters on the website by email. I would restate her letter and then give my answer.:
What makes you feel happy?
Everyone has their own things that help us to be happy. For me, for example, this thing is the opportunity to achieve something completely new at work, to help your friends who need it, to give love to someone who sincerely dreams about it… someone brings happiness large sums of money in a Bank account, and someone has a couple of new and cheap things to feel happy… I Guess I’m looking for the person who understands exactly what he wants and knows exactly what makes him happy. In our time, this has become a very rare quality – in a world where happiness is very conditional, and people often confuse joy with a short-term influx of euphoria. So, tell me now – what do you want, and what must happen to make you happy? Shall we try to talk about it?
The last 18 years of my marriage, I did not truly love my ex-wife, nor did she give me love and affection. As you know, I have spent a small fortune online searching for someone I could truly love, and they truly love me back.
I define true love as loving someone without regard to your own needs or desires. I want a wife that I never have to ask her: Do you love me? I will know she loves me by her actions, and she will know I romantically love her by my actions. I am starved for this kind of love.
This is Sunday, so I will reference what Jesus said. He said: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” and “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Both acts of love are unconditional. We don’t love God or our neighbor because we expect something in return.
Jesus gives us joy when we love and believe in him. I want to give you and Marie joy. Here is a definition of joy that I found online: Happiness comes from outside, while joy from within, and with this attitude of joy, the person is in a state of grace. Joy is an extension to happiness. … Happiness can also be characterized as being materialistic, and rests more on worldly pleasures, while joy is a state derived from the emotional well-being of a person.
As my wife, I want you to experience joy because of my actions. I want to truly love you.
As we explored each other, we tended to share our core values about assorted topics including who should be the bread winner:
MAN AND WOMAN SWITCH ROLES?
If a man becomes a woman in a relationship, then a woman becomes a man… Nowadays, many men change roles with the female. This applies to working moments, everyday Affairs, the nature of the partners and their relations in General. For many couples it has become the norm, they do not even notice it sometimes. But is it normal for a woman to do men’s work, such as hammering nails, repairing shelves or working multiple jobs to feed her family. I think it’s just as abnormal as a male housewife cooking dinner and taking care of the children. What do you think about it? Have you ever switched roles with a woman?
For 45 years I worked as an Actuary, and I was the bread winner. I did little of the housework because I was bringing home the money that paid for everything, and I worked hard to bring home a lot of money.
I now sit home and make little money and my current sole source of money are my pensions. I have authored a book that I hope will sell and make additional income. If you and Marie choose to bless me and come here to live; I will do anything you don’t have time to do. I will recognize that you have a career and will be as busy earning money for you and Marie. I will always find a way to support myself and not depend on any of your money. I will also be Mr. Mom if that is what you need me to be.
We can assume that we will not conform to any traditional roles. I will do what is necessary to make our family whole and to help you be joyful and satisfied in your career as a sexologist.
Jim and Homey
Depending on my mood on a given day, I would sometimes find joy in some things she told me:
I hope you have a good day; I miss you… this night I dreamed I met your family, and they were telling me all about you while you were growing up and we we’re all smiling… and then you started blushing … We still know so little about each other, I guess you have so many funny stories from your life. I cannot wait to share my stories with you… you know. I was a little hooligan, so my parents will not stop complaining on me)) hahaha) honestly, I just cannot wait to start our new life together. to write our love story. I’m sure we will make each other happy. Kiss you, your Xena.
Hooligan? How can you go from hooligan to warrior princess? HAHAHAHAHA
I was a boring, shy, and industrious child. The worse thing I ever did was drive my dad’s truck for a block when I was 14 without a license.
My mother probably won’t remember my childhood now because of her dementia. One of her favorite stories was about when I was 4 years old watching a children’s program on TV. This was 1954. Back then video recording was not invented yet. I was jumping around trying to hold back the fact that I had to urinate. I wanted to watch the finish of the TV show.
I turned to my mom and asked her: “Stop the TV, I need to go wee.”
That got a big laugh from her. Today, it would be no big deal. We can stop the show anytime we want. Was I a futurist? HAHAHAHA
I am waiting patiently for you and Marie. My arms are open to you, and you can fill them anytime you want to. I love and adore you.
Jim and Homey
We had discussions about sex sometimes and other times we had cybersex. I will never be sure about how women feel about sex. For most men, it is most confusing as to when and why women want sex. Xena was a sexologist. I sought advice from her on how to treat her in one letter as follows:
I am so looking forward to holding your hand and having my arms around you… so I can lie with you, from the front, from behind, under you and up on you, kiss you and hug you… you don’t mind if I will sleep on top of you?? I want to enjoy your warm kisses and hugs every morning before getting up from bed. I want to enjoy great intimacy and love making with you to start the day. I think that can make us the happiest couple in the universe. I just want to be with you each day, I do not care where, I just want to be next to you dear, sharing the same pillow, holding you close, snuggling up to your back with my arm around you dear. What do you think I will feel when I lie next to you in bed, and what will you feel? I become so cuddly, imagine that we are completely naked, and very close to each other, we kiss and cuddle with each other’s bodies, and become very hot. I need a cold shower already) hehe) Kiss you, your Xena.
Completely naked😍. Does my Xena want to get naked? You are funny and, in some ways, a typical woman. You sometimes scold me when I say I want to make love to you, but most of your correspondence is about the same thing. You once said: Is sex the only thing you want?
I have a basic question for the sexologist. Why are women so comfortable with being duplicitous? I think the duplicity we see in politics is caused often by women.
There is an American adage: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. This means whatever is good for women is also good for men and vice versa.
So, my darling, I would love to be naked in bed with you. I also want to snuggle you. I want to live with you. I want to marry you. I want to adopt Marie. I want to make a family with you.
Jim and Homey
I look back on this and I think: Are you crazy? She just sent you a love letter and you are calling her duplicitous. I don’t remember the exact circumstances that led up to this. What I do know is that I am a sinner and sometimes I need to be forgiven by others for my sins.
A day after this we talked about monogamy:
How do you feel about women? Why did you choose me?
I want to know, then precisely I liked you and why your diary knows with me… This question worries not only men, but and women. I want to know what you really think about me! After all, this is how we can get to know each other and understand what we want and how it can unite us. I don’t want to feel like just one of many women, I want to be the only one, loved and unique for my man. You want the same, don’t you?? Maybe that’s the difference between men and women … monogamy and polygamy. I want to build a relationship only on monogamy, sincerity and love! Then these relations will be full and real! Do you agree with me?
I want only one wife and you are more than enough for me. I pick you because you are beautiful and sexy and most of all, I am in love with your character. There are lots of beautiful and sexy women on the website. Very few have character. The only ones I have found are you and my friend Agatha.
You know I want a woman with grace, character and loves making love. I pray to Jesus that is you. An incredibly special bonus that comes with you is Marie. I would love to give Marie the father that she never had. This would give me great satisfaction.
I call you Xena because you have courage that I admire and love. A man needs a strong woman who is better than he is. You are that woman for me. I fell for you as soon as you told me the reason why your ex-husband left you. He was an idiot for doing that and I ask Jesus to forgive me for judging him. You are my hero for committing to life rather than death and bringing a beautiful little girl into this life.
You are very very sexy, and you own Homey. All that you must do is come and claim him.
I pray that you and Marie enjoy your Christmas present.
Jim and Homey
Right after this letter was written, I got another letter about a perfect match:
I have no doubts we’re a perfect match, do you believe in destiny? Of course, we can have conflicts sometimes, but I’m sure we will always make a compromise. It is okay to have differences of opinions, and I respect that in people, but too many times people like themselves more, and think they are more important – I am a simple person, not complicated. What you see is what you get, I have no hidden agendas, and do not like hidden agendas – I just want to love and be loved. To have a calm and quiet life with loving man, with you. I want you to be who you are, I would never want to change who you are. I am sure in your past relationships there were things that happened you did not care for or believed in. And I am proud of you for standing up for who you are and not what someone wanted you to be… you know, I have always found in life that decisions made following the heart usually succeed! If I follow the head, they usually fail! So, my heart wins. and my heart always tells me to be with you. it’s totally yours. I trust you with whole heart.
I do believe in destiny darling. I believe in divine destiny. I believe that God knows and has determined our past, our present and our future. God has given us free choice. I have never been able to understand how that fits in with divine destiny. I also know that even though I am highly intelligent, my intelligence is minuscule compared to God’s wisdom. So, it doesn’t bother me that I don’t understand how free choice and divine destiny fit together.
I pray to God, that he gives you to me. I will be truly blessed to have my Xena as my wife. The only blessing greater is that Jesus died on the cross for me, and God loves me.
If you read the “In Limbo” chapter of my book, you will find my description of the “Mysterious Woman” fantasy that I mentioned to you early this morning. Until my dream last night, it was not perfect but just another one of Homey’s Adventures. In my dream last night, my mind perfected it with you in that little black lace dress shown on your profile.
Your beauty is so elegant. I believe your soul is just as perfect as your deep blue eyes. You are the perfect mysterious woman, and you are more than perfect as my future wife. I want you forever.
Well, at least I had the sense to write those heart felt words. I find that when I call upon what Jesus teaches us; I am a much better person.
My first book was finished, and I started to promote it to whoever I could. I saw the book as my Pygmalion statue. I explained it to my Xena like this:
My beautiful Xena,
Pygmalion was an artist who created a sculptor of a beautiful woman and he fell in love with his work. The Greek goddess Venus made the sculpture a real woman because Pygmalion wanted her so much.
George Bernard Shaw wrote a play about an English aristocrat who made a flower girl into a lady of high society and named the play “Pygmalion”. Lerner and Lowe made a movie based on the play and named it “My Fair Lady”.
When I was working, I took management classes that taught what they called the Pygmalion effect. They taught that if you believed someone was bad, then they were more likely to became bad. If you believed someone was good, then they were more likely to became good.
All of this has a central theme of dreaming about something and making those dreams come true.
My book is a good example. After my divorce, my dream was to find and marry the woman of my dreams. My Pygmalion sculpture is my book. I believe only God knows when my dream will come true.
I know that you have expressed some disdain for my efforts with my book. I have reduced my taxes significantly by publishing my book and it is symbolic of my dream of having a loving wife who is graceful, has character, and loves making love.
Can you share this vision with me darling? I hope and pray you will be that wife.
Jim and Homey
One of the problems with promoting my book was that I got distracted from loving Xena. I have been down this path before, and I needed to catch myself from putting money above love. The difference this time was that I trusted in the holy spirit to lead me. I got back from church one day and I wrote this:
and it is good that I have so many thoughts about how you and I are going to be there, you know that? I have so many vulgar thoughts that I want to embody with you and be with you as quickly as possible and do it tonight mm. want me to tell you about them, honey? can I tell you what we’re going to have every night? mm waiting for an answer! how do you want us to spend these evenings? tell me!
Yes darling, I want to know all the thoughts that you want to share with me. I would love us to get the point where we know what each other are thinking before we say anything. I will never understand why you think what you think, but that is not as important as knowing what you think so that I can love and cherish you.
According to my pastor, God made woman so that man would not be alone. He made woman from Adam’s rib, and I believe this is symbolic that men and women are incomplete without each other.
I want my Xena, warrior princess, wonder woman. As commanded by Jesus, I love God first and foremost. I want to meet and love and cherish my Xena so that I can be complete as designed by God.
I am now thinking that God did not make man to embrace money. He did make men and women so that man would not be alone and only together men and women are complete.
Courtship can be a very long dance. If you don’t agree, I suggest you read a Jane Austin book. I personally find it more exciting watching paint dry than reading Pride and Prejudice. It took forever for Elizabeth and Darcy to get together. My tango with Marie’s mother was not over, but first, Jim was going to go back to Haiti.
End Of Chapter 8
I hope you enjoyed chapter 8. I will give you “Chapter 9 – The Second Haiti Trip” next week. My new book has 32 chapters. So, if you want to receive all 32 chapters as soon as the post is created, then become a follower of this blog.
If you do not want to wait that long and you have not read my first book. I encourage you to go to my website, www.homeysadventures.com. You can read the first two chapters for free, and you can also purchase it. Or you can purchase it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other fine retailers. Just search for it using the words: Homey’s Adventures by Jim Wish.
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I liken myself to the Vienna Violinist described in chapter 5. I play (write) for your enjoyment and mine. God bless you all.