Homey’s Adventures Too – Chapter 6

First and foremost, thank you to all who have read my past blog posts and my book, “Homey’s Adventures.” 

As promised, I am continuing the series of all the chapters of my new book, “Homey’s Adventures Too.” I am now 71 and I decided that I did not want to spend my time haggling with editors, literary agents, and publishers. The main thing I am interested in is to write for your pleasure and mine. So, without further delay, here is Chapter 6: 

Chapter 6 – Gift of The Magi 

After I got home, I was ready to give up my quest to find my wife on the Ukrainian website. So, I decided to deactivate my profile. When I requested deactivation, my host ask me questions about why. I told him a short and more concise version of Chapters 4 and 5.  

His response: “What if I gave you 1500 credits so that you can buy the woman that you met some perfume.” 

I said: “It won’t hurt to try.” 

So, I asked Sexy Cutie if she wanted perfume. She said yes and I bought her the perfume through the website. This really did not change anything. In fact, she wanted more. She wanted a new computer. 

I asked her: “Why didn’t you go with me to buy a new computer when I was in Odessa?” 

Her response: “I didn’t think it was right to have someone I didn’t know buy such a large gift for me.” 

For as long as I have lived, I have never totally understood female logic. A computer through the website costs 3 times as much as a computer bought in person. So, why was it not right when I was in Odessa, but it is right when I got home? I asked her that very question and I did not get a straightforward answer. It is duplicity like this that makes me not trust Sexy Cutie anymore. She has her motives, but she is not straight forward about them. 

As I went back and forth between Sexy Cutie and trying to deactivate my profile, I talked to other women and one of them was Xena. Somehow, we started talking about why she did not want to set a date to meet her. 

She said: “Maybe, I didn’t fully trust you and I wanted to see what you would do.” 

At first, this made me angry: “You were testing me? You had no reason to doubt me. I have always done what I said I would do!” 

I continued on my tirade: “I am not a little schoolboy who you are testing. I am a grown old man who knows that truth is important in a relationship. I told you that I was in love with you. I told you I wanted to meet with you. You have hurt our relationship immeasurably. This not only makes me angry, but it makes me sad.” 

At once, I regretted getting angry. I apologized the next day and we agreed that we both made mistakes. I succumbed to Sexy Cutie cynicism and went to visit her rather than a woman that I was in love with. Xena played love games with me because of her doubts. 

I also told her that I did not want to ever get that angry with her again. I am slow to anger. When I do, I am not violent. I do yell a lot. I would not want her beautiful daughter to see the sinful side of me. In the Mathew chapter of the bible, Jesus expands the “Thy shall not murder” commandment to include unrighteous anger. 

In retrospect, I was not thinking about her environment. Yes, she had no reason to mistrust me. Yes, I am a good and honest follower of Christ, but she grew up in a Soviet influenced culture where everyone was taught to mistrust and spy on everyone else. I judged her unfairly because of where she was and not who she was. I knew that she had strength and character because she brought into this world a beautiful child even though her husband left her because of having that child. 

I was still intent on leaving the website. I tried to deactivate again. My host asked me why and I summarized what happened with Sexy Cutie. 

He said: “What if I give you the credits to arrange a meeting with someone else?” 

It cost 625 credits to arrange a meeting with someone on the website. I could have said yes and then just spend the credits talking to women. 

“I have been to the Ukraine 3 times. I don’t plan to come again. Thank you for your generous offer.” 

He offered: “Please think about it and get back to me.” 

“Thank you again, I will think about it and get back to you.”  

About this same time, I got a text from a beautiful young woman who she was in despair and tried to commit suicide. Mind you, this is the internet and people will and can say anything to get attention, but the last thing I wanted was for this woman to hurt herself. 

She said: My ex-boyfriend told me how ugly I am, and he abused me. 

 “You are beautiful and a child of God.” 

I was not lying to her. She really was sexy and beautiful.  

I then sent her something that I remembered getting from my church: 

 “The truth about you is on the left of this picture. We know it is true because Jesus tells us it is. On the right side are lies about us perpetrated by the devil.” 

I continued: “Please believe me, Jesus and I love you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore.”  

She texted: “Okay, I won’t try to cut my wrists anymore.” 

I encouraged her: “That is great news dear.” 

We talked after that off and on. I continued to support her self-image by telling her the truth about how sexy and beautiful she was. 

She eventually said that she wanted to come to St. Louis and visit me. I thought that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by meeting her. So, I went back to my host and tried to set up a meeting with the free credits that they offered. They gave me the free credits and I made the request.  

The meeting arranger got back to me: “I’m sorry sir, but the website rules are that the first meeting has to be in the country of the woman and cannot be in your country.” 

“I understand, and I presume it is for the safety of everyone. The women of the Ukraine are the most beautiful in the world and you need to protect this national treasure.” 

I accomplished what I wanted to do. This abused beautiful woman knew that Jesus loved her and so did Jim in the way we all should love each other as Christ commands us to. 

About this same time, I was talking on and off with Xena. 

She offered: “By the way, I have my visa.” 

My heart rose: “You do? Are you planning to come to St. Louis?” 

If I were talking to her in person, I would have been stammering. I was still in love with this woman. 

 “I want to come Jim.” 

I gushed:” Darling, I am still in love with you. Please, I want you to come here.” 

 “What about that other woman you met in Odessa.’ 

“Darling, can we admit that we both made mistakes and put that behind us? 

” Yes, we can my Homey.” 

“You know, we can’t meet in my country on the first date according to website rules. “ 

 “I don’t care about the website rules honey. I will come and meet you anyway.” 

I did not argue with her. I know she had courage and character. I was not going to doubt that again. 

After that, all our conversations were dear and loving. 

One day I asked: “Will you marry me?’ 

She gave me a simply and unqualified: “Yes.” 

I showed her the ring that I bought in May 2018: “This is now yours. When you get here, we will get it exchanged for something that you pick out.” 

 “It’s beautiful honey. I want that one.” 

“Then it is yours. That’s an engagement ring. We will need to go to my jeweler to get it fitted to your finger and buy our wedding rings too.” 

 “That sounds wonderful honey.” 

“I want to formerly get down on my knees when I meet you and ask you to marry me. I also want to ask your daughter if she will approve our marriage. It is important to me that she agrees.” 

“Honey, I am sure that Marie will agree. You are the best man!” 

So, now I was informally engaged to a woman I have never met. I knew she had grace and character and since she was a sexologist, I did not think she had any sexual problems. If she had them in the past, I assumed she took care of them. She was my Xena, Warrior Princess, Wonder Woman. If she came to St. Louis and married me, I would be the most blessed man on the planet. She was better than me. A man needs a woman better than he is. 

I asked her a couple of days later: “When do you plan to come to St. Louis?” 

“Darling, I have my visa, but my daughter doesn’t.” 

” Is it possible that you could come here first? You could see if you like it before bringing your daughter. Maybe your mother could take care of your daughter while you are away.” 

“I will check with my mother and get back to you.” 

It took a couple of days for her to check with her mother. While she was checking, I was thinking how she will feel being separated from her daughter even for a brief time. 

She got back to me: “My mother is reluctant, but she said she would do it.” 

“I was thinking, how will you feel being separated from your daughter?” 

 “I will be worried about her.” 

“I would like to see you as soon as I can, but I don’t want you worrying about your daughter and your daughter worrying about you. I will wait for as long as it takes to see you together here with me.” 

“You are the best man ever.” 

She often told me I am the best man ever. I know I am a sinner, but I also genuinely wanted what is best for her and her daughter. By my own definition, I wanted to truly love her. 

Not long after our discussions, I asked her: “Should I deactivate from the website to save money for our future family.” 

 “Do what you think is best, but I can only email when I am at work.” 

I believe marriage is about love, compromise, and submission to each other. I thought this needed a compromise. 

“If I spend a certain amount only on Saturday night. Would this be okay with you.” 

” Yes darling. You are the best man!” 

So, we had a plan to get what we both wanted.  

About a week later, she suggested: “Darling, the website is having a contest and the prize is a trip to the USA. I want you to vote for me.” 

I voted for her 6 times which cost 50 credits. I then said: “I just gave you 6 votes. I don’t want to sound negative, but these contests are won by women that have men with more money than they know what to do with.” 

She pleaded: “I need you to vote a lot more for us.” 

 “Darling, I am trying to spend less on this website not more. I cannot afford to compete with rich men. But if it is important to you, I will support you in this. I will spend what I was going to spend Saturday night and buy more votes.” 

“Yes, dear we can talk by email.” 

So, I bought more votes and saw that it did not get her that much closer to the top. I told her the results and said that I should check tomorrow to see how things change. 

The next day, I checked, and she was in 4^th place. After investigation, I discovered she got over 6,000 votes. This cost someone over $12,000.  

I asked: “I’m excited to see that you are in 4^th place. How did you get so many votes?” 

“Honey, I need to be honest with you. There is another man who loves me and wants to meet me. I don’t love him, I love you.” 

I thought about this and at first, I did not like the idea that someone wanted to date her. We were not formerly engaged, but I was committed to it, and I thought she was too. 

For some reason, I then thought of O Henry’s short story “Gift of The Magi.” The setting is Christmas and a man and his wife search for just the right gift for each other. The woman goes out and sells her hair so that she can buy a watch chain for her husband. The man sells his watch so that he can buy a special set of ivory combs for his wife. The moral of the story is that both the man and his wife sacrifice something very dear to them out of love.  

Xena did not cut her hair, but she was sacrificing her dignity to get a trip to the USA for her daughter and herself. I decided that the very least I could do was to support her even though I suspected it was a lost cause. So, I bought enough votes to put her in 3^rd place. The 3^rd place prize was a trip to the USA and $2,000. 

Unfortunately, my original predictions came true. The 3^rd place winner ended up with 27,000 votes costing her voters $54,000 for a prize worth at most $5,000. The first-place winner had 40,000 votes costing her voters $80,000 for a prize worth at most $7,500. These women won out of the vanity of their men. It certainly did not make any economic sense. 

Xena fell to 7^th place even though she heroically got 13,000 votes and most of it came from someone else and not me. She competed out of love. I wasted a lot of money on the contest, but I did not care. Xena did not fail. She did not win a prize, but she never gave up. So, in my mind, she won. 

End of chapter 6 

I hope you enjoyed chapter 6. I will give you “Chapter 7 – The Virgin Missionary” next week. My new book has 32 chapters. So, if you want to receive all 32 chapters as soon as the post is created, then become a follower of this blog. 

If you do not want to wait that long and you have not read my first book. I encourage you to go to my website, www.homeysadventures.com. You can read the first two chapters for free, and you can also purchase it. Or you can purchase it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other fine retailers. Just search for it using the words: Homey’s Adventures by Jim Wish. 

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I liken myself to the Vienna Violinist described in chapter 5. I play (write) for your enjoyment and mine. God bless you all.